Like many people possessed by artistic inclination, I have long presumed that I must have showed some level of artistic promise as a child. I certainly remember considering myself to lean a little toward the talented side way back when. My parents are planning to sell the family home, so Dad told me to get over to their place and remove all the junk I stuffed in the attic when I left home. Imagine my surprise when confronted with boxes of my own excrable childhood art.
There’s no bones about it, all evidence points to the fact that not only was I an utterly talentless child, I seemed to have been be physically allergic to both technical proficiency and patience. I present as evidence a particularly nasty example which I have titled ‘Portrait of Princess Leia with a Kitten’
(I was 12 or 13 when I daubed this masterpiece).
I went on to do three unit art for the HSC, a subject I failed miserably. Notwithstanding, I managed to talk myself into a place at art school where I went on to do a BA in visual arts majoring in film making, a subject I was also seriously crap at. My photography wasn’t too bad though. I now fully understand the forces that drove me to explore photography, collage and computer graphic design.
27 Comments
Actually, I quite liked it…
Having the attention span at 12/13 to produce such a finished work, with its own naive/primitive charm is the exception rather than the norm.
Blame your art teachers. They’re generally guilty. 🙂
seriously, I’m not being modest here… Princess leia is the best of the lot… My art teacher was a tiny little old Austrian woman called Mrs Winkler. Whenever you left a bit of space on the page she would make helpful suggestions such as “put a house in here to fill the space”, regardless of what the painting was about.
The prosecution rests. 🙂
I like the kitten!
yeah, the impressionistic kitten is the best bit by far!
I admire your positive approach to life :). If you really want to see bad art you should ask me to draw you something: I never had got past about year 7 in anything requiring art skills or talent, which is the only reason I have never actually failed. This explains why your collection of tack is tackier than my collection of tack – you actually know what you’re looking at.
yes, I now understand my kitsch obsession too. from the gut, completely.
Stop twisting my words!
I’ve seen worse. All I ever drew was horses … and my dog, once. *g*
hehehe
That’s probably on par with what I remember from my own efforts. Although for a 13yo it’s probably not bad.
Am I glad I kept none of this stuff and kindly asked my mother to throw it away.
Just as glad as I am to have kept none of the novels I wrote when I was at school.
Think of it like this: wouldn’t it be sad had you still thought it was good?
yes. thinking this stuff was hot would be a bit of a worry.
I found loads of writing in the attic as well. I’m a bit too scared to read it. The inevitable teenage love poetry…. EWWWWWW!
argh! my head hurts! make it stop!
(PS what is she doing to that cat, and why is she blushing?)
Ha! Andy, I just knew you’d be a fan!
I thought that was a rather naively charming picture of a Japanese geisha until I read its title. Then I burst out laughing.
Really Cat, you underestimate your artistic genius. I think “Princess Leia with a kitten” is the most wonderfully kitsch title ever. It transforms the picture into something… er, well not “good” as such, but certainly on a new level.
the title rocks, I agree.
…you know, no one in that picture looks happy. not the princess with her cat, and not the cat behind her, clearly neglected.
time to analyse!
she’s wondering who the kitten’s father is…
cat, i am your father.
(haha. that works on two levels.)
BUT ITS SO WRONG…
heh. there’s such an open door of things i could say right now, but i will resist. i am sure you will be thankful.
Ha! Call yourself a bad artist! Leia wouldn’t even make the Museum of Bad Art!
I am *way* familiar with the museum of bad art. And I saw a Princess leia velver painting at a con art show once that would have pride of place in MOBA…
oops, that should have read ‘velvet’ painting
You were only 12, but…I do think the MOBA would be very interested in this piece.
nope. Because I couldn’t handle a rejection from MOBA if I got one.
You’d have to be pretty bad (or too good) to be rejected by them. HSC art gone wrong.
nah, see true bad art is a fine line. it has to speak to badness. offer a commentary on the subject. Merely shithouse will not do. Unfortunately my Princess leia is merely shithouse. trust me.