23 May 2007, Posted by Cat in News, 34 Comments.
wipe on sex appeal
Here’s a little something I scored out of a vending machine in the women’s toilets at Mascot airport while waiting to board my flight to Adelaide. Just two bucks can enable me to achieve unfair social advantage! The package warns that it is for external use only, and assures me that this product has not been tested on animals. And it really works too because at Sean and Amanda’s place last Sunday when I stepped into the laundry and whipped the packet out i found myself suddenly surrounded by people of both sexes. Of course, a skeptic might suggest that this had something to do with the fact that the drinks were on ice in the laundry tub. But I’d like to think it was all due to my newly acquired unfair social advantage.
34 Comments
May 22, 2007 9:38 pm
sclerotic_rings
I take it you’ve caught the episode of the Rik Mayall/Adrian Edmondson Britcom Bottom that featured a take on that stuff? Thanks to those two, I still can’t see a condom dispenser without saying “Well, everybody likes cheese and onion!”
May 22 2007 21:47 pm
Cat @
Unbelievably, I never saw a single episode of Bottom. Must catch up on DVD. First I ever heard of 'wipes" was when a friend found a similar vending machine in a Queensland nightclub's men's toilets.
May 22, 2007 9:50 pm
martianmooncrab
just be careful where you wipe it..grin.
May 22, 2007 9:52 pm
capnoblivious
Did it trigger a powerful response?
May 23 2007 01:54 am
Cat @
well, I was too scared to actually open the sachet.
May 22, 2007 10:50 pm
kaaronwarren
I love the ‘use with caution’ bit. What would be considered cautious in these circumstances? Don’t wipe it on when you’re on the elevator with your grandma?
May 23 2007 05:24 am
strangedave @
You need to use it with caution because if you already have natural sex appeal like Cat, you might end up with WAY TOO MUCH sex appeal. And then you'll never get anything done.
May 23, 2007 3:05 am
king_espresso
I think they put towelettes from KFC inside those packets and people just buy them for the packaging.
I did buy one, but I wiped it on the cat to see if the female cat next door would notice. Didn’t, but then Maggie, the cat next door is as thick as a busful of young Liberals.
May 23 2007 03:46 am
Cat @
I don't want to meet anyone who'd buy this stuff for anything other than the packaging.
May 23, 2007 7:07 am
satyapriya
After my ex-husband and I split up, he bought a spray bottle of pheromones via mail order. I know, because I found the bottle in the car we were sharing(complicated reasons). He was using them to attract possibly the ugliest woman on the face of the earth, and they still didn’t work. I sprayed some on the grass in front of my house and I know the cats avoided the spot for months.
May 23 2007 07:56 am
Cat @
Ha! the only thing classier than buying pheremone wipes from a toilet vending machine is buying them through mail order.
May 23, 2007 8:53 am
wendy_waring
Now most of my memories from Clarion are pretty unreliable — but I do seem to recall at one of our reading nights, someone, not naming names mindyou, ok, a very tall man (with a big sword), buying some of these wipes, and passing them around the table. But what happened afterward, I just can’t remember…Do you???
May 23 2007 08:55 am
Cat @
my memory of that night is very fuzzy.
May 27, 2007 11:39 pm
lilysea
Tangentially:
I saw a photo of this today, and thought you’d like it! (:
It’s a Pitcher Plant urinal, fully functional, by an artist called Clark Sorensen, part of a series of nine called “Nature’s Call”.
May 27 2007 23:41 pm
Cat @
OMG! What a stunning piece of toilet art! Ta for that.
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